a different leap

Yes, I'm getting married. Yes, I'm getting married to Wolf, who has been my closest confidant since all of the craziness started. Yes, the wedding is in a few months. No, sorry, you're not invited.

He proposed shortly after Valentine's Day. It was actually something we had talked about, but neither of us thought it would happen so fast so soon. In a way, it almost has to be. Wolf is deploying again in the not so distant future, and actually living together beforehand is something we both think would be beneficial.

Only now everyone's obsessing about where I'm going to live during the deployment. Which, for now, is overshadowed by the obsessing over the wedding.

But, it's still a *little* scary. Moving away from home is not all that appealing right now.

I don't think it will ever be.

(Have I mentioned how much I hate snow?)

Retired at 23

My PEBLO called last week and informed me that I've been offered 30% disability and temporary disability retirement pay. It's exactly what I wanted, so of course I accepted. Now I hurry up and wait again for my discharge and my retirement pay to kick in. Only a little over a month more until that happens. In case you were wondering, it's the same thing Red received. Only he fought much longer than I did -- he really did want to stay in and return to his unit in the worst way. Considering I was MEDEVAC'd in August, it's taken nearly a year to get discharged. Although, I must admit, if I had said in Germany or Walter Reed that I wanted out of the Army I wouldn't have stayed on active duty this long.

It is a little weird to think of both Red and myself as medically unfit to serve, even if it is the truth. If you were to talk about it with my mom, she would tell you that I was never medically fit to join the Army in the first place and if I had stayed in the band, everything would have been just fine. I wouldn't be screwed up. I wouldn't be hiding in the house and avoiding people. Yes, I made the decision to learn another job and deploy -- but it's not my fault that I came back like this.

And really, who wouldn't expect change from a person who's been away from home, in a completely different environment, in a completely different culture (both military and host country), and a completely different daily routine? I didn't just come back with PTSD. I have new friends, a fiance, new interests and hobbies, and more insight and understanding of that part of the world. That's the short list. I don't regret choosing to deploy. I just wish things had turned out better.