In a way, I've come to terms with being in a psych ward. Yes, people have called me crazy both in jest and maliciously. My reply? I'm not in denial about it and am receiving treatment. Which is more than a lot of people can say.
My family doesn't know much about what brought me here. They know I was MEDEVAC'd. They know I'm being treated for PTSD and depression. They know pieces of what happened. I don't think I can bring myself to tell them the whole story and I'm not sure how long I can get away with that. For now they're happy that I'm coming home to continue treatment.
A few months after I start the treatment at home, someone in my treatment team will have to make a decision about my disposition. Do I get a permanent profile and go back to duty or do I go in front of a Medical Board to plead my case and possibly chaptered out? It's not my decision -- I really don't care how it goes so long as it's done in a way that I will never be deployed again. My normal drilling status as a Guardsman expires in late July, and after that I have two years of inactive status where I can be (and a lot of people are) pulled for deployment.
There will be no reenlistment. My Army career will end with this -- the hospitals, the doctors, the probing questions, the introspection.
Believe it or not, I'm okay with that.
They asked for volunteers, so I volunteered. I deployed and spent a year in the sandbox. I came home. The Army decided I was too broken to serve any longer and gave me temporary medical retirement. I'm a civilian again and married right back in. My husband is gearing to deploy. In the meantime, I have a strange love-hate relationship with the Army. Sometimes it sucks, sometimes it doesn't.
About Me
- Techno
- I'm a contradiction all by myself. Soldier and student. Stargazer and computer geek. Boots and music. Paper pusher and globetrotter. It all works out in the end.
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A bit of history...
There was a call for volunteers to deploy in Spring of 2006. I volunteered, was selected, passed the screening process, and was sent to reclassification training to go from being a bandsman to a human resource specialist. After graduation, I was home for roughly a month. I met the rest of my new unit right before we were sent to mobilization training. Once validated, we were sent overseas in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom.
I left university, quit my job, dumped my foreign boyfriend, and said a few very painful goodbyes. But I don't regret it one bit.
In early August, I was MEDEVAC'd out of the desert. My unit was just a few weeks away from going home. Now my only job is to get better. The irony is that they returned to their homes before I did.The Army has offered me disability and temporary retirement pay. I'm taking it. Bye bye combat boots.
1 comment:
I hope you will eventually tell the rest of us the story. We all worry about you, you know, and think of you often. We support you where ever you are and want you to be able to be happy.
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