The dust has settled for the most part. The wedding and associated planning is over, Wolf is back at work, and I'm officially retired from the Army.
Fortunately, the to-do list has grown shorter. Set up my compensation exam, write thank-you notes, finish moving in and settling down. And, of course, wait.
Wolf and I were anticipating the move to be stressful, but I don't think either one of us expected it to be this bad. I've noticed that I feel much better at my parent's than at the apartment. I won't leave the apartment (other than potty breaks for the dogs) without Wolf. And then it's a matter of time before I start tweaking out and feeling detached. Which then leads me to wonder what people must be thinking when they see me like that. Not an easy cycle to break.
My biggest fear of going out alone is that I would fall and hurt myself and everyone would react and get too close which would probably only make things worse. I wear a medic alert bracelet just in case. Having someone there makes me feel more secure, but it doesn't prevent that feeling.
There's been talk of getting an assistance/response dog. A program trained dog that's big enough to be noticed by others (and act like a barrier), tall enough for balance work, and able to calm me and get help. Some programs don't allow working dogs to be placed in homes with pets or have some kind of restriction. I don't see Wolf or myself giving up our animals. If this is something we decide to do, we'll likely have to fight an uphill battle.
(Then again, what hasn't been an uphill battle lately?)
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