My face is buried in the space between his shoulder and the couch as he tells me that I need professional help. He didn't get much sleep. And he really didn't like what I had to say to him last night, either.
"That's throwing everything away -- your friends, your family, me, your future, the Peace Corps..." His voice trails off. He's upset. I don't blame him. He likes to be happy, and he wants me to be happy.
"Why do you think about those things?" Like I want to. "Think about happy things instead..." If it were that easy.
I don't want to go back. Two of my friends have been medevac'd in the same 24-hour period, one rather unexpectedly. I am afraid of popping another so-called happy pill. I can't stand the thought of sitting in the doctor's office, or even entering the building.
And yes, I know I should.
They asked for volunteers, so I volunteered. I deployed and spent a year in the sandbox. I came home. The Army decided I was too broken to serve any longer and gave me temporary medical retirement. I'm a civilian again and married right back in. My husband is gearing to deploy. In the meantime, I have a strange love-hate relationship with the Army. Sometimes it sucks, sometimes it doesn't.
About Me
- Techno
- I'm a contradiction all by myself. Soldier and student. Stargazer and computer geek. Boots and music. Paper pusher and globetrotter. It all works out in the end.
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A bit of history...
There was a call for volunteers to deploy in Spring of 2006. I volunteered, was selected, passed the screening process, and was sent to reclassification training to go from being a bandsman to a human resource specialist. After graduation, I was home for roughly a month. I met the rest of my new unit right before we were sent to mobilization training. Once validated, we were sent overseas in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom.
I left university, quit my job, dumped my foreign boyfriend, and said a few very painful goodbyes. But I don't regret it one bit.
In early August, I was MEDEVAC'd out of the desert. My unit was just a few weeks away from going home. Now my only job is to get better. The irony is that they returned to their homes before I did.The Army has offered me disability and temporary retirement pay. I'm taking it. Bye bye combat boots.
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