"Here we go again, marching down the avenue..."
It's starting to feel more real. I'm actually readjusting to this better and faster than what I thought I would. As I told Dragonette the other night on the phone, it feels like I've spent my entire summer up here -- even though I've had a month off of Army stuff.
These days are spent in class for common soldier tasks and finishing up medical inprocessing. I get to teach a class on 9-line MEDEVAC request, which should be short and sweet. This is going to sound strange, but I actually struggle with Army training. Everything is dumbed down to the point of stating the obvious. And I often skip over those steps or forget them. The worst is at the end of a task, when I am asked to state the last step. It's almost always either continue on with what you were doing or wait for further instructions. Well, duh. The sad thing is that some of these obvious things aren't quite-so-obvious for other people.
*****
I'm really starting to like my squad. There's really only one person that I'm having a hard time approaching and talking to, and that's partly because he's never around and partly because he's just so quiet. FratBoy is in my squad, which is always interesting, but in the good way. Chica is our squadleader, which is just awesome. She looks and sounds intimating at first but is so laid back about everything. Mercenary is the assistant, and he has just such a colorful background that it's just very interesting to talk to him and get his insight on things.
The bad thing is that once we get over in country, they're going to split all of us up. And I'm afraid that I'll be stuck with a few certain people that I really don't want to be around.
*****
LittleBit is driving me crazy. She's complaining about everything and anything. Very very negative. And if she's not going on about that, she's going on about her current boytoy. Annoying. I just want to grab her by the shoulders and yell at her "Hey, you idiot! You volunteered for this! We're here to train!"
What I could once take in small doses, I can't take at all.
And it's the not fraternization thing that bothers me -- there is a couple in the unit, but they're very discreet. It's just the fact that she's so loud about everything. Loud and painfully obvious about her technically rule-breaking relationship, loud about her complaints, loud about her problems, loud about her gossip and rumors, loud about the things she doesn't like. I don't think the woman is capable of keeping her mouth shut for a day.
I have noticed that she is not really talking to me, which is potentially a good sign. Let's cross our fingers, shall we? I really don't want to be her battle.
*****
Sweetheart's emails have been very encouraging and uplifting. He's getting word through the grapevine about stuff I haven't even told him about, so I know that the guys on that end are talking as much as we are. Plus he just went through all of this junk, so he understands completely what this is like. If it weren't for him and his very encouraging emails, I'm sure that I would be in more of a depressed funk right now.
*****
Got into another fight with MeuAmor. His money management skills are so horrible that he budgets his money to pay his bills without saving anything or keeping any kind of emergency buffer. Which is fine, until there's an emergency. And as soon as one major item is paid off, he goes and buys another one. So when there's an emergency, he's stuck trading or selling his possesions to pay for the bill.
It's happened on more than one occassion. I've lost count of the number of computers that have been sold to pay for one bill or another. He sold a PS2 that I brought for him, so he could pay a bill. He technically still owes me the money for that, but I'm just going to write it off as a loss.
But, it happened recently. Someone stole his credit card number and used it at the same grocery store chain that he works in, but in a different town. And since they wanted him to prove that he's never been in that town (impossible to do), the credit card company wants him to pay the bill. Only he has no money to pay the bill. So he sold or traded (or something like that) computer parts to take care of it.
The bottom line is that I'm tired of it. I don't care if you're broke -- I'll give the shirt off my back for just about anyone. I do care how you manage what resources -- money included -- that you have. And I'm sorry, but if I'm going to enter a partnership with someone, I want to be absolutely positively sure that they're not just going to spend all my money, ruin my credit, and destroy everything I've worked hard for.
And I really don't feel comfortable becoming engaged to or marrying MeuAmor if this is a serious problem. Because for immigration it's my name, my credit, my future on the line. I'm not established to the point where I could absorb that kind of fallback.
It's not that I don't love him -- I do -- but a partnership, a marriage is much more than love.
On the phone he told me to be sure that I wouldn't regret anything later. Given the options as I see them right now, I'll take the lesser of the two evils. He's getting some time to get his act together, but if it happens again -- I'm gone. And I mean it.
Sometimes you just have to look out for yourself.
*****
Also, when wearing my battle rattle, I feel like a turtle.
Just thought I would add that in there.
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