bad day -- LIVE

I'm having a bad day. And not for any real reason, either. I don't have problems at home, I'm getting paid okay, and I have a good support structure both here and at home.

I did have a flare today, my knee hurts from yesterday, no one got much sleep, and I've felt like a little toy soldierette all day. Maybe I just need sleep.

I want to be held, to be touched, to be told that everything is going to be okay and that I'll get through this alright. I want to be told that I'll be safe from both friendly and opposing forces while I'm overseas. I want to stop wondering if I got on the wrong plane.

Today I really wanted to be in Brazil. I thought about calling MeuAmor's house just to talk to his sister, to say "Eu não estou bem hoje e eu não sei por que. Eu quero estar ai, em Brasil, com vocês. Eu quero comer os churros e os chokitos, eu quero beber guaraná. Hoje, eu não quero estar aqui, eu não gosto desse lugar..."

I just need to remember that everyone has their bad days. That this will hit everyone at some point or another, and that we'll all deal with it differently. That this too shall pass.

*****

Today was wasted in the TMC so I could have a doctor look at my knee. I kid you not, I was there from 0830 to 1530 -- most of that spent waiting for my turn. The good point is that my doc is absolutely awesome and remembered me from my last visit. The bad point is that I'm on profile for two weeks, which means no running, no jumping, no ruck marches, no alternate aerobic physical fitness test requirement. And while I feel really bad about that, I know that I did the right thing by going in.

The boys teased me, of course. I'm trying to not let it get to me, but I did have to tell a few of them to shut up and leave me alone. That whole bad day thing kicking in.

*****

This morning, I called Bossman just as PhysicsGeek walked in the door. So I got to talk to both of them, which was very nice. I'm missing them and missing work and missing everything normal right now. Plus, Bossman is just awesome as both a friend and a boss.

I'm crossing all of my fingers and toes that his plane will be fixed by the time I get leave (if I get leave). I'd love to go for a ride, if he'd take me.

I so need a break. Or mail. Take your pick.